We hadn’t been into a Little Chef in over 20 years but the fact that this branch, which we pass regularly on the A303 en route to London from Mere, has recently been under the jurisdiction of uber chef Heston Blumenthal proved too strong an opportunity to resist. The interior here still looks unmistakeably Little Chef-like with lots of bold red panelling and 1970s squeezy tomato ketchup bottles on the tables but the layout has changed radically with an open plan grill, mosaic bar, large dining island, smart wine-chiller (!) and attentive staff in bold red uniforms emblazoned with helpful labels like ‘CHEF’ and ‘WAITER’ (fortunately the ‘BOG CLEANER’ was nowhere in sight) and odd quotations on how best to eat spaghetti – this tedious theme is repeated on wall tiles explaining the origins of the British banger.

The food is also unmistakeably Little-Chef like with the Olympic Breakfast at £6.95 being the most popular item on the menu. Feeling un-athletic we opted for the more modest Early Starter breakfast – one sausage, one egg, two rashers of bacon, beans and toast. Much change and the Blumenthal influence are immediately apparent. The eggs are free-range and the bacon and sausages are made from pigs that were reared outdoors. The orange juice is freshly squeezed and the black pudding (£1 supplement) and kippers come from pukka producers in Scotland. That said, this is pretty basic fare but the surroundings are clean and smart and the food is actually cooked to order. The lunchtime blackboard menu boasted slow braised pork belly and lamb shanks which sounded promising. In short this is a vast and much needed improvement of an ailing brand and one can only hope that the panjandrums at Little Chef’s head office have the balls and brains to roll out the Blumenthal model throughout the land.      

I was struck recently as I perused the modest collection of bottles I pretentiously call my ‘home cellar’ (the really good stuff has to be kept out reach I’m afraid) by the dreadful uniformity of its contents. There was certainly enough variety in terms of style but everything was held within the globally invariant, ubiquitous, standard 75 cl bottle. Don’t get me wrong I think 75 cl’s is a wonderful, arguably ideal, size but variety is the spice of life and I was lacking it!

Why? Was this because we now live in an increasingly choice-less society or a sad reflection of my ‘half a couple with kids’ status? There are lots of reasons for straying from the standard measure and plenty of variations. Firstly and most commonly there is the half bottle (37.5cl’s) the case for which is indisputable. A full bottle is a hefty dose for a lone imbiber, they’re also good for drivers (sharing), restaurant goers (more choice) and impromptu picnickers (less baggage). Another asset of the humble half is that they have a greater ratio of air to wine and are thus earlier maturing – conversely larger formats age more slowly, which can also have its advantages. Sadly, as worldwide demand for quality wine increases the willingness of wine producers to bottle in ‘other formats’ diminishes.

The magnum or double bottle (1.5 litres) should never be overlooked. The name sounds great, especially when ordered with confidence in a restaurant. They look fantastic and add panache to any dinner table. Moreover they hold twice the volume, which should keep the party going while giving the host less work opening bottles. They’re also ideal for ‘laying down’ long term.

Two sizes that I eschew are half litres (a largely failed European glass manufacturers marketing initiative), whose only possible justification is for sweet wines, and litres – that are just too studenty (and I have been there). One size that is sadly now almost obsolete is the pint or ‘Churchill’. Apparently Sir Winston deemed this the perfect size for his individual consumption of his beloved Pol Roger Champagne and had bespoke bottlings produced accordingly.

Champagne is where one must turn to really enjoy the full gamut of bottle sizes and the names alone justify their continuation: quarter bottles (18.75cl’s) are hard to find but are useful for smuggling into hospitals and theatres and have recently enjoyed a revival (in 20cl bottlings) amongst the nightclubbing fraternity – who drink direct from a straw! We’ve covered halves, bottles and magnums which leads us on to the really good stuff: Jeroboam or double magnum (3 litres or 4 bottles), Rehoboam or triple magnum (4.5 litres or 6 bottles), Methuselah (6 litres or 8 bottles), Salmanazar (9 litres or 12 bottles), Balthazar (12 litres or 16 bottles), Nebuchadnezzer (15 litres or 20 bottles) and lastly for those feeling particularly festive Melchior (18 litres or 24 bottles). Many of these sizes can also be found in Bordeaux, which also boasts Marie-Jeanne (2.25 litres or 3 bottles) and Imperial (6 litres or 8 bottles).

The only downside of bigger bottles is that if they’re out of condition you lose more wine – so it’s worth checking terms with your supplier before you invest in anything too grand. That said we have a duty to maintain these ‘odd’ sizes for future generations and think of the impression you’ll make at the bottle bank!

Anyone who has enjoyed listening to Radio 4′s Desert Island discs has probably amused themselves by selecting their own favourite records in anticipation of a call from the BBC. As the winter nights stretch monotonously ahead I sometimes amuse myself by compiling my fantasy wine list for an evening of consummate decadence.

Instead of Shakespeare and the Bible castaways are issued with a corkscrew and decanter. The categories, which I’ve imposed, are Champagne, still white wine, red wine, sweet wine and Port. So that my fantasy is grounded in reality all wines selected must be commercially available – so Thomas Jefferson’s bespoke bottling of Château Lafite – is off limits. The object here is indulgence not vulgarity!

Choosing luxury fizz is always a pleasure. An obvious choice is Moët & Chandon’s flagship Dom Perginon which is a great wine but, well, obvious. A more subtle choice might be Roederer Cristal, a classy cuvée beloved by Russian Tsars and gangsta rappers, or Pol Roger’s excellent, Pinot Noir-based, Cuvée Sir Winston Churchill. I quite like Gosset’s Cuvée Celibrice, which has a slightly tarty, footballers-wives, fur coat-ish appeal but at the end of day nearly always end up plumping for Krug 1982, which I first tasted as a skint student – an epiphany! As I’m not paying, and I hope Man Friday, or better still the young Urulsa Andress, will join us at cocktail hour, make it a magnum (they do age so delightfully) – don’t expect much change from £700. Still we can always use the empty as a float for our raft.

Nine out of ten shipwreck survivors opt for white Burgundy when asked to choose their ultimate white wine, and it has to be said they’ve got a point. A lightly aged Chassagne or Puligny-Montrachet (the 96′s are drinking well) would be hard to eclipse, even so I shall forgo it. I have a penchant for the Rhône so the 2001 vintage of Jean-Louis Chave’s sublime white Hermitage is next on my wish list at a very reasonable £80 a bottle – although one is never enough.

Almost everybody chooses mature Claret as their red for drinking incommunicado and so you don’t accuse me of being difficult I will too. First growths, I fear, lead to inflated expectations and disappointment (and we don’t want to corrupt Friday just yet) so lets opt for a ‘super second’- Leoville Barton 1990 would be great and lots of it please – you never know when the Swiss Family Robison are going to drop in for a Safari Supper. This will probably set you back just over £1000 for a case – a bargain if you look at what people paid for younger vintages.

Sweet wine is easy – the inimitable Château d’Yquem in the sublime 1967 vintage, I’m sure you’ll agree its worth £1000 a bottle, if not you’ll have to make do with the barrel of Tokaji that was washed up last Christmas.

Lastly, in the way of Port I’d like some Fonseca from the ‘Jubilee Vintage’of 1977, as far as I’m concerned this is the ne plus ultra – eminently drinkable now but it should age gracefully in the back of the cave until we’re rescued. Sadly the days when you could snap this gem up for £20 a bottle are long gone – £100 should cover it.

Any chance of some Alca-Zeltzer as a luxury item?

We were delighted when our old friend Clive Greenhalgh the genial patron of the Ambassador restaurant invited us for his ‘Magnum Monday’ in an effort to inject some cheer into this miserable winter. The remit was simple – rock up at the restaurant with a decent magnum (each) and enjoy a delicious set menu with fellow wine lovers/bores. What we didn’t know was that 15 other people would be attending which did mean an awful lot of wines to taste and drink.

We kicked off with some Champagne ‘Le Mesnil’ Grand Cru ‘Réserve Sélection’, actually we kicked off with beers then Champagne. This was clearly quite serious stuff but quite heavy to drink comme aperitif although the preceding lager probably hadn’t done it any favours. After a few informal introductions and a bit of wine trade banter we then sat round a large square table and passed lots of big bottles to and fro debating their various merits.

The white wines, which surprisingly accounted for almost half the total, accompanied a Clam and Cockle Velouté (no potatoes deployed so not a chowder). The shellfish came from Colchester and were tasty and plentiful. Highlights here included a Petaluma ‘Hanlin Hill’ Riesling 2005 (courtesy of Gus Evans the landlord of the Butchers Hook in Fulham Broadway) which was mid-weight with classic limey tastes and good minerally undertones and a zesty ‘Loimer’ Grüner Veltliner 2006. Both got along famously with the bivalves and were a pleasant alternative to a proliferation of white Burgundy all of which was pretty good but none of which was great.

Our main course was an impressive chunk of braised Galloway beef (which was the size of an anvil) served with root vegetables. The red wines were as diverse as the whites with a surprising dearth of Claret (excepting a lone Pomerol) and a few real oddities. Here the tasting notes start to get rather confused but the Ridge Vineyards 1999 Geyserville Zinfandel was memorable as was the same vintage of Le Vieux Donjon Châteauneuf du Pape in which we have a vested interest. I think we had some cheese at some point and possibly some coffee. There was bold talk of regular reunions. All in all a very entertaining evening that made for a rather less enjoyable morning. I think the wines might have faired better if there were fewer of them and of us and we would definitely have benefited from some feminine input – it was rather a blokey affair.

We did glean the priceless information (from his brothers) that our host was a star contender on Junior Masterchef. Now that is footage that we’d pay some serious money for…

www.theambassadorcafe.co.uk

Wines Tasted

White

Champagne ‘Le Mesnil’ Grand Cru – Réserve Sélection NV

Langelois Spiegel ‘Loimer’ Grüner Veltliner 2006

Petaluma ‘Hanlin Hill’ Riesling 2005

Soave Pieropau 2006

Château Simone Palette 2003

Domaine de la Bongran ‘Quintaine’ Viré Clessé 2002

Domaine Robert Denogent – Macon-Solutré ‘Clos des Bertillonnes’ 2005

Chassagne-Montrachet 1^er Cru ‘Les Caillerets’ Domaine Marc Colin et Fils 2001

Red

Savigny Les Beaune 1^er Cru Aux Gravains – Domaine Pavelot 2002

Pomerol Château Combaude Guillot 1995

Domaine de Trévallon 1995

Podere il Bosco – Syrah de Manzane Toscana 1997

Châteauneuf du Pape: Le Vieux Donjon 1999

Casa Lopostelle ‘Cuvée Alexandre’ Apalta Vineyard Merlot 2005

Caymus Cabernet Sauvignon Napa 2004

Ridge Vineyards Geyserville Zinfandel 1999

Côtes de Saint Mont ‘Collection Plaimont’ Producteurs Plaimont

Any lingering doubts that I’d been self-indulgent to accept a last-minute lunch invitation to Café Anglais, London Restaurant of the Year 2008, were dispelled when I bumped into two Yapp customers on the same 94 bus from Shepherd’s Bush who were on their way to Le Gavroche.  My karma was further improved at the restaurant when we were seated at a table next to Jeremy Paxman and Bill Bryson.

Leaving aside the captivating Art Deco interior and the warm feelings that come with knowing you are dining on the site of a former McDonald’, the real draw at Café Anglais is the extensive Hors d’Oeuvre menu.  Do go for the signature dish, Parmesan Custard, best to have one each!  Also good are the Oyster Fritters, Coppa di Parma and Rabbit Rillettes.

We skipped starters and I did further damage to the bunny population with a flavoursome rabbit stew with impeccably creamed potatoes.  We had shared a versatile Corsican white (Domaine Saparale 2007) to accompany the range of starters and this was followed by red Pic St Loup Arbouse 2006 with the main (my fellow diner went for middle of pork with rosemary and garlic, accompanied by a gratin dauphinois).  A selection of cheeses – Saint Marcellin, Brie de Meaux and Montgomery Cheddar was enhanced with a comically (and unintentionally) small pichet of red Lirac 2005, so we ordered a second one.

Café Anglais, London W2   www.lecafeanglais.co.uk